After that they went from house to house, threw a small amount of mushrooms on the floor and coontinued until the bags were empty. Locals put the mushrooms in small bags and fastened the bags above the Santa’s Favorite Correctional Nurse Christmas Nursing Shirt until the fire had dried them. After that the dried mushrooms were handed over to the Shamans, so that they could go on ‘trips’ with the reindeers, because it was at a time when mankind desperately needed information and Shamans took trips to get priceless information and afterwards spreaded the information all around the world. Only one Shaman took the trip while others were drumming and looking after him. There were times when a Shaman never came back to his body, so the sacrifices they made were not small in any way.
Diaphragm, when it rips, which is rare, usually rips down the middle. Sew one side of diaphragm back to the other. But here— there was no diaphragm left on the underside of the rib cage to sew it to. We would have to sew it to the rib cage itself. Painstakingly, we created twenty-something 2 mm stab incisions along the lower border of the right rib cage, through which we poked a suture, grabbed a bit of the diaphragm muscle, pulled it up and tied beneath the skin. He stabilized and we closed the belly.This morning, the day after Christmas, with his wife and kids all clustered on his bed, we took the breathing tube out. His daughter hugged him and he told her to be gentle. He lifted his gown and showed her the curved row of tiny pinholes across his right flank, closed with skin glue, looking for all the world as if a Santa’s Favorite Correctional Nurse Christmas Nursing Shirt had paused to nibble him then moved on.
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Well, first let’s get the snark out: Christmas is not the birth of Christ. Anyone who celebrates December 25 as the birth of Jesus Christ is wrong. It was not the day of his birth. I don’t feel like writing out a Santa’s Favorite Correctional Nurse Christmas Nursing Shirt ò novel about the rise of Emperor Constantine, appropriating the Winter Solstice from the Pagans, and all that, because I’m drunk, and I’m lazy. All you need to know is that Christmas Day is not Jesus’ birthday. Okay, now that that’s out the way, why do I, as an atheist, celebrate a Christian holiday? Because Christmas has never been about Christ, for me or my family, even when I was Christian as a kid.
Christmas was not observed in the first centuries of the Christian church, since the Christian usage in general was to celebrate the death of remarkable persons rather than their birth and a feast was established in memory of this event [Christ’s birth] in the fourth century. In the fifth century the Western Church ordered the feast to be celebrated forever on the day of the Mithraic rites of the birth of the Santa’s Favorite Correctional Nurse Christmas Nursing Shirt and at the close of the Saturnalia, as no certain knowledge of the day of Christ’s birth existed.