One of my granddaughters had to go through this kind of frustration until she was 4, when she was old enough to follow instructions for a particular kind of exam involving speaking specific words with a tube in her throat so the specialist could film what was happening inside as she spke. Turned out she had an issue that “only people with cleft palate have.” She doesn’t have cleft palate so they had Dear Santa My Papa Did It Christmas T-Shirt, which was an easy fix. She now, as a teenager, has a relatively minor issue with scar tissue affecting breathing but plays soccer, basketball, baseball and has absolutely no speech problems. It was SO hard on her and her parents to keep fighting for a solution, so you have my sympathy and hopes for a resolution of the problem.
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I’m on the spectrum and while I’m verbal most of the time I can go nonverbal in some situations. It’s intensely scary and frustrating because I have to tell someone I need help, but it’s like Dear Santa My Papa Did It Christmas T-Shirt. This means I’m forced to tell people about my triggers ahead of time, which makes them pity me. But autism isn’t all bad. I feel fortunate that I’m able to make mental connections that others don’t see, and notice things that others don’t. I find having mental checklists helps me to understand my own needs. Now whenever I’m upset I go through basically Maslow’s hierarchy to find out why. It takes a while to get into the habit though, and different things work for different people.